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Digitized Chubby Bear Fighter Coming Soon To Your Local Arcades
Game Set Watch has an update on a game that I’ve been following for the past two years: Dark Presence. First of all, when this game was announced, many gamers quickly ridiculed the non-intimidating-looking actors (check out Destructoid‘s biting impressions). Who can really blame them? The costumes look cheap and the weapons appear to be plastic toys. Also, such screenshots appear to be behind-the-scenes exclusives for a digitized fighting game in 1990…
However, with my initial impressions out of the way, remember when I talked about a crappy Full-Motion-Video Game called Urban Runner? Remember when I said this?: “Sometimes crappy games become better when adding woofy bears.” Heck, I haven’t seen a single video footage for Dark Presence, but I have already given a thumbs up for the game since the actor playing Titan is just freaking woofy.
My quarters are primed and ready to play this supremely hot chubby bear biker with his massive skull-&-spine battle-axe.
And with my [BearBeat] fetish, looks like my fantasies of controlling a character to beat up on a realistic big bear in glorious 1080p and 15,000 frames of animation goodness are finally coming true. I mean, come on. Check out that kick to the massive man’s gut on the above photo. I just hope that the grunting sounds are awesome too. (I know, I know, I’m a sick, sick man.) Also, I hope that one of the game’s fatality moves is called “Striptality”…
The game is not even out and they already have a sequel for it called Conquering Light. Titan is not in it, though there is a semi-shirtless daddy bear in his place. Anyway, Destructoid has a screenshot of that daddy bear (called “Grant”) and he’s also definitely a woofer.
Anyway, this old school arcade “revitality” (get it? *groans*) reminded me of the countless tokens I had dropped on Pit Fighter (even bought an Atari Lynx for this fabulous — lol — game). Though Buzz was my favorite Pit Fighter, the very first bad guy you fight (who happened to be a tanned, sweaty, & smooth musclebear) was THE main reason I loved the game. Here he is. The one. The only. The Executioner…
While searching for those Executioner screenshots, I wanna give a shout out to Google for providing me with this Executioner photo… OH WOW!
Goonday Moonday: Patrick Gallagher In “True Blood”
Just finished watching the third episode of HBO’s True Blood Season 2 and I’m loving it so far. Chris Bauer could have gone shirtless on two occasions yet the writers always managed to squash such perfect opportunities (the dancing in Merlotte’s Bar and Maryann’s bacchanalia). Anyway, this post is not about Mr. Bauer, but about Patrick Gallagher. He hasn’t done much yet in the show and I’m hoping that he does something really cool soon. Unfortunately, I’m composing this post from an internet kiosk (I’m currently on vacation, so I will be scarce though I’ll try to post whenever I can). Anyway, here are photos and a video of Patrick Gallagher…
BearSong Sunday: “Mudhill” By Samiam
I rarely post on Sundays, but I figure I change all that by forcing me to work with a theme. Hence, the nonsensical “BearSong Sunday” was born. And let me start things off with the underrated Samiam singing Mudhill. Great song, even greater video, and a much greater-looking lead singer: Jeff Beebout. I can’t seem to find their official website though they do have a MySpace page. In their missing official site, each group member posted a unique biography of himself and, needless to say, Jeff’s bio was my favorite. It was written in a style that I’ve been trying to emulate to this day. Anyway, I only mentioned that because what’s going on in the video is very similar to what he had said on his bio: painfully and achingly sad with a touch of absurdist humor.
From TheUniversalCynic’s Flickr Page
Jeff Beebout does not only possess an amazing voice, he also bears the bullgoon face that I tend to get attracted to. He may not be large or even husky, but it doesn’t negate the fact that he’s oozing with manly sexiness.
Here’s another person who resembles Jeff Beebout: Steve Zandi. Steve is a co-lip singer of Harry Laos in their rendition of Chicago’s Hard Habit To Break. Harry Laos used to have a YouTube page that I subscribed to a few years ago but it’s been taken down. Anyway, his friend Steve Zandi were in some of the videos and quite possibly the one main reason I subscribed to Harry’s page. Anyway, as I have managed to save some of his videos, I uploaded one in DailyMotion and it appears to not have been deleted yet.
Now that you have seen Jeff Beeout and Steve Zandi, compare them to the chubby Mike Paterson and musclechub Garry Frank. Regardless of weight, they are all blessed with such goonish good looks…
Shirtless Saturday: MuscleCub Páll Logason Part Three
One of the most popular Shirtless Saturday post is this musclecub monster, Páll Logason. (Though I may have to start referring to him as a fully-fledged musclebear, especially with that awesome full beard he’s sporting.) It’s just unfortunate that he shaves, but he has to do it due to the strongman competitions he would partake in.
You can find TONS more photos of Mr. Páll Logason in Vodvafikn-net’s Flickr Page.
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Drew Powell: The 5 Stages Of Grief Of A TV Guest Star
Drew Powell was a guest star of Leverage and its writers decided to create a mockumentary about Drew begging to be brought back to the show. The result is hilarious with a sprinkle of SHIRTLESS scenes of Drew Powell. WOW!
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The Left Nipple, Exposed Belly, & Dramatic Faces Of Drew Powell
In Leverage (Season 1, Episode 10), Drew Powell guest starred as — surprise! — a “fat slob.” Despite my sarcasm, I actually love seeing him like that. Lol.
At this point, I have composed a short photo essay on Drew Powell’s three main features and assets that tend to show up in any of his acting gigs. Let us begin…
EXHIBIT I
THE LEFT NIPPLE
Before you go through the following exhibits, please refresh yourself with this old post: Drew Powell: A Scientific Discussion Of His Mammary Papilla.
Mr. Powell’s protruding nipples always make their appearances. However, it is his left nipple that tend to get the most screentime. Here are three completely different scenes from Leverage… You be the judge.
EXHIBIT II
THE EXPOSED BELLY
Before perusing through the photos, please check out his two commercials: Jack In The Box and 21st Century Insurance. That’s right. His belly would always make a peek-a-boo appearance. Sometimes just a tease and sometimes it’s full-blown exposed such as in the images below…
EXHIBIT III
THE DRAMATIC FACES
Finally, despite (and probably because of) Mr. Powell’s common “comedic” roles, he does the best he can with the materials that have been given to him. Here are just a few samples of his intense dramatic range…
Well, there you have it. After all of that, you’re probably wondering: “Man, when does he get shirtless?” Ah… Glad you asked. See you in the next post…
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Would You Massage A Naked Drew Powell?
If you had to even think, then I’m gonna whack you on the side of the head. I mean… COME ON! 
So again, I ask: Would you massage me naked?
This is Drew Powell‘s massage scene in Psych (Season 3, Episode 13) where he — get this — did not get massaged! Utterly disappointing. Well, beggars can’t be choosers since we are treated to some cute shots of him looking all handsome and helpless on the massage table… Awww…
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Drew Powell: Mr. “Stinky” Auto Coverage
Is Drew Powell cornering the market of “the sweaty and smelly husky guy”? Check out his Jack-In-The-Box fruit smoothies commercial for proof.
Drew Powell as Mr. “Stinky” Auto Coverage
Anyway, I’m guessing that the rest of the population is supposed to cringe at the “fat slob” as the camera focuses on his sweaty armpits and belly fold (lol, thanks DG!). I’m also guessing that it should induce a nasty nasal reaction from such images. I say “guessing” because all I could see is an amazingly beautiful and huggable husky body that’s drenched in sweat and emanating a delicious musky scent.
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Joey Oglesby Sports A Prison Guard Uniform In “Prison Break”
Prison Break (definitely one of my all-time favorite TV shows) has officially ended a few weeks ago. There were two episodes that were not released, but repackaged as a full-length film that filled in the blanks to the show’s surprisingly downer (yet, uplifting in a way) ending. You can check it out on DVD and it’s called Prison Break: The Final Break. I appreciated how they did this as it did not overwhelm the fans with more prison break absurdities to the point of self-parody.
More importantly, and to my pleasant surprise, Joey Oglesby was in it as well. Unlike his tacky clothing from Private Practice, he gets to don a prison guard uniform. Yowza!
Speaking of Prison Break parodies, here’s a Simpsons version…
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Joey Oglesby: “Private Practice”
It has been a long time since I’ve posted about one of my favorite cubby bear actor, Joey Oglesby. But here he is in all of his super cute glory (sometimes you gotta get all “girly” with the adjectives) from the TV show, Private Practice (“Second Chances” Season 2, Episode 14).
Even with the tacky clothing, it could not defy his adorable cuteness
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